


Patron Saints and Cardinal Rules

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Gentleman Prefer Blondes [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:52:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Your favorite ex-wife? How many women in the world bear that distinction?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Patron Saints and Cardinal Rules

**Author's Note:**

> This was written way before we knew any of Rossi's ex-wives names. It's #1 in the Gentleman Prefer Blondes series, which is the Rossi/Strauss that led into Thicker than Water. This was the 1st fic I ever wrote about them as a pairing and its still a favorite.

  
**MAY 14, 1986**   


“This is definitely better than the last opening we went to.” Erin said, sipping her champagne. “Do you remember that modern art crap?”

“Mmm hmm.” Nora nodded. “It was…interesting.”

“It was horrible. All I could do was smile until it was over. My jaw hurt when I got home.”

“You did a great job. Sometimes I think you missed your Hollywood calling.”

“Did I ever tell you when I was a little girl I wanted to be Eva Marie Saint? It was after I saw _North by Northwest_.”

“You didn’t, but that doesn’t surprise me.”

“If anyone said that other than you, I might be offended.”

The two women were at the Gibson Gallery for a showing of Joan Shepard’s photos of women around the world. So far, so good; there were a few Erin would love to display in her home. Black and white photography was something she truly enjoyed and she loved slices of life in pictures.

“Erin, do you know that man?” Nora asked after she laughed. “He’s been looking at us for a while now.”

“Who?” Erin’s eyes scanned the crowd slowly.

There were a lot of men in the room and plenty had checked out the two women from the time they walked in an hour ago. Erin and Nora were used to it. They were both quite beautiful. Erin with her Anglo-Saxon blonde hair and blue eyes and Nora with her raven curls and wide brown eyes…they used to turn the Haverford boys inside out. It was nice to know that even in their 30s they were still politely turning them away. Well, Erin wasn’t turning all of them away but surely the majority of them.

“Follow my eyes.”

She did and easily spotted the handsome man. He stood out amongst the art patrons, hangers on, and pretty people. He had thick brown hair and a goatee. He wore a tailored grey suit and his body was in perfect shape. His shoes were expensive, Erin could tell even from a distance. She didn’t recognize him.

“He looks like Mafia.” She said.

“I don’t think there’s Mafia in DC.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Nora, there’s Mafia everywhere. Damn.”

“What?”

“He caught me looking at him. Oh God, here he comes; I really wish he wouldn’t come over here.”

“Be cordial, Erin.” Nora replied without moving her lips.

“I’ll have you know that I'm always cordial. My mother would kill me if she ever found out I wasn’t.” She laughed then, pretending to be engaged in deep conversation with Nora as the stranger approached.

“Excuse me,” He tapped her shoulder. “Have we met somewhere before?”

“No,” Erin shook her head. “Not in your dreams or anywhere else.”

“That’s cordial?” Nora whispered, smiling at the man. “Forgive Erin, she’s…”

“Feisty?” He asked. “There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure the both of you get tired of men trying to pick you up. Believe me that was not my intent. Do you mind if I stay though? That group of gentlemen over there was boring me to tears. I was contemplating chewing my arm off to escape.”

That made Erin smile though she did her best to conceal it. Instead she sized him up; it wasn’t a bad way to spend a few minutes. He was quite handsome, in that cocky bastard sort of way. Erin wasn’t opposed to cocky bastards as long as they wore it well.

“Of course you can stay.” Nora replied. “I'm Nora Gideon and this is Erin Strauss.”

“David Rossi.” He shook both of their hands. He liked that Erin had a firm handshake. “Are you friends of the artist?”

“No, but I always get invited to these showings.” Erin said. “I'm a bit of a collector so I come when my schedule permits.”

“And you Nora?”

“I'm here to keep Erin company…she’s easily bored.”

“Its true.” Erin said.

“That’s something that you and I have in common.” He replied.

“Are you a friend of the artist, David?” Nora asked.

“She’s my ex-wife.”

“I’ll take that as a no.” Erin said.

“Actually, Joanie is my favorite ex-wife. Sometimes even when you love someone, life pulls you in two separate directions. Looking around at her talent tonight I'm glad I was man enough to let her go.”

“Your favorite ex-wife?” Erin raised her eyebrow as she finished her drink. “How many women bear that distinction?”

“Three, but please don’t let that stop you from adoring me.”

“I’ll do my best.” She said.

“Will you let me get you another drink?” Dave asked.

Erin really wanted a vodka martini and she told David so. He asked her how she liked it.

“Absolut vodka with three olives.” She replied.

“Can I get you something, Nora?”

“No, thank you, I'm fine.”

“I’ll be right back.

When he walked away, Nora and Erin looked at each other.

“There's something very interesting about that man.” Nora said.

“What would that be?”

“I don’t know but there is. Did you notice the gun?”

“He has a gun?”

“Wow Erin, dare I say you're slipping.”

“Bite your tongue, Nora Schlesinger; I just wasn’t paying him much mind is all. Well the gun confirms that he’s connected.”

“Don't be prejudiced. If he were a Scotsman with a gun would you assume he’s in the Mafia?” Nora asked.

“No, but I’d be intrigued.” Erin replied.

“You're already intrigued.”

“I am not.”

“Mmm hmm. I've known you for almost 15 years…I know when you're intrigued.”

“This is probably the first time I'm ever going to say this Nora but, you're wrong.”

“Here’s your drink, Absolut with three olives.” Dave was back and handing her a martini glass.

“Thank you.” She smiled.

“Would you excuse me, I need to call home.” Nora said.

Erin wanted to protest, suspected her best friend was up to something. Instead she just smiled as Nora walked away.

“Why are you carrying a gun, David?” She asked.

“I'm in the FBI.”

“What do you do in the FBI?”

“I'm a Behavioral Analyst.” He said.

“Well that doesn’t help me at all.”

“It’s a lengthy discussion…we could have it over dinner sometime.”

“I don't think so.”

“You don’t like to eat?” Dave asked.

“Oh I love it; my hips don’t care for it much though.”

“Have I mentioned that I find feistiness unbearably sexy?”

“You have now.”

“Admit it, I'm cute.” He said.

“You're alright.”

“So tell me what you do for a living, Erin.”

“I'm in global communications. The world is getting ready to change and I'm on the cutting edge of that. By the end of this decade the Cold War will be over and the information age will begin. A whole section of the world, once closed off, will be wide open.” She said.

“You think so?”

“I know so…it’s my job to know so.” Erin replied.

“Do you and Nora work together?”

“No. Nora is on the fast track to becoming the first Jewish patron saint. She works for Families in Transition and is my best friend in the whole world.”

“That’s a very nice thing to say.”

“It’s all true. I don’t say nice things unless they're true.”

“I believe you.” Dave nodded.

Nora came back to them, taking gentle hold of Erin’s wrist.

“I need to go, honey.” She spoke quietly.

“Is everything alright?”

“Jason has a stomachache. Dan can handle it but he wants mommy. I'm so…”

“Say no more; go Nora. Give him a kiss from Aunt Erin.”

“I’ll call you.” Nora kissed Erin’s cheek. She shook Dave’s hand again. “David, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Thank you. It was nice to meet you as well.”

She squeezed her best friend’s hand before Nora headed for the door. Erin didn’t like being alone; that’s why she dragged Nora there in the first place. Now she was rushing home to her six year old and Erin was stuck with FBI Agent Rossi. She looked at her watch.

“I should probably get going as well. It was a lovely showing but I have meetings in the morning.”

“Do you need a ride?” Dave asked.

“I don’t accept rides from strangers.” She said.

“I'm David Rossi and you're Erin Strauss…we’re not strangers. Anyway, I'm in the FBI; there's not a soul you'll be safer with.”

When he grinned, Erin smiled. She put her empty martini glass on a passing tray and ate two of her olives. The third one she offered to David Rossi.

“Thank you.” He took her hand, holding it to his lips and eating the olive. “Let me give you a ride, Erin Strauss; you won't regret it.”

***

“Ohhh,” Erin arched her back. “Oh David, David, ohhh…”

“Damn,” David thrust deeper, kissing her passionately as Erin shivered against him. “You feel so good, Erin. So good.”

She ran her hands across his shoulder blades and down his spine. When she cupped his ass, Dave moaned. Erin was so close but she didn’t need to tell him. Working his hand down, over her breasts, across her belly and torso, he slipped it between her thighs.

“I need to touch you.” He whispered in her ear.

“Yes.” She breathed, biting her lip.

“Tell me.”

“David…”

“Tell me, Erin. When you're turned on, I'm turned on.”

“Believe me, I'm turned on. Just shut up and make me come.”

“Yes ma'am.”

His fingers stroked her clit, played with it. He loved the way her body quivered against his and the way she gripped his hips. Erin climaxed once and then again, gripping him tighter. She was a little too quiet now; Dave wanted to know how he made her feel but didn’t ask. He could feel it. It wasn’t quite the same as hearing it but she told him to shut up and he would obey. Actions spoke louder than words anyway. When a woman gripped you so hard there were sure to be marks in the morning, words were unnecessary.

The third time was the charm; Erin pulled Dave into the abyss with her. He moaned, just letting go. He always thought it was amazing when you could climax together. Feeling it with Erin was fantastic. Dave kissed her breathless before moving his body onto the mattress. He was trying to catch his breath as she lowered her legs, pulled the sheet back, and got out of bed. Grabbing his shirt from the carpet, the tag said Armani, Erin slipped it over her nude body. She lit a cigarette from the case on her nightstand.

“I like you.” Dave said. He’d cleaned himself up, resting on his side and looking at her back while she looked out the window. It was a rainy night in the nation’s capital.

“Why? Because I'm good in bed.”

“Nope.” He shook his head.

She looked at him, poised to say something but not quite sure what. Had she not been good in bed? Erin excelled at everything, including impressing men.

“I like your smile. I like your sass. I like that you call me David. I…”

“Isn't David your name?” she asked.

“Yes but when I introduce myself as David people just automatically start calling me Dave.”

“That must be obnoxious.”

“Sometimes. Now that I've sampled dessert there's no way you'll turn me down for dinner, is there?” He said.

“I'm a busy woman.”

“Well then we’re even because I'm quite a busy man.”

Erin didn’t say anything as she finished her cigarette. She put it out in the ashtray on the nightstand.

“I think you should come back to bed.” Dave said. “I think you shouldn’t be wearing that shirt when you do.”

“I like the shirt…it smells sexy.” She said.

“Your skin smells sexy. C'mere.”

Erin didn’t want to admit how much she wanted to be back in his arms. Dave unbuttoned the shirt, sliding it off her shoulders and down her arms.

“Shall I stay or shall I go?” he murmured, kissing her.

“Oh, so you're the hit and run type, huh David?”

He just grinned, pulling her on top of him. She was going to be tough and that was fine with him.

***

“I have to go.”

“What the hell time is it?” Erin asked. She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Quarter to five. I got a page and I have to go.” Dave said.

“OK, bye.”

He could hear the skepticism in her voice. Smiling, Dave slipped his hand under her chin and drew her into a gentle kiss.

“My job doesn’t have hours; I meant it when I said I'm a busy man. I still want to make time to see you. Call me; I left my number on the nightstand.”

“Alright.”

“Last night was amazing, Erin.”

“Take that back; I don’t like the connotation.”

“OK, well last night was awful.”

She groaned, falling back against the pillows.

“Go David. If you have to go to work I don’t want to make you late.”

He kissed her once more and was gone. Erin knew she could forget about going to sleep; she needed to be up in an hour anyway. So she just lay there and listened to the rain beating on her window. Grabbing the pillow Dave was laying on, Erin held it to her face and inhaled. Damn that man smelled good…she needed to find out what scent he wore. It was masculine but not overbearing and mixed well with sweat. Erin was sure that was not one of the selling points.

He made her break her cardinal rule; she didn’t put out on the first date. Hell, she didn’t put out at all. Erin held on to her sex for dear life…a man had to prove he was worth it. Often he wasn’t. Was David Rossi, she really had no idea? Erin knew that she’d never felt like that with a man before. She rarely wanted a second time and surely never a third. That feeling was at least worth dinner. Seeing him again might be nice, maybe.

Erin let out a groan of frustration. She didn’t know what to think and now was the wrong time to let this cloud her mind anyway. It was ridiculous to let a man she didn’t even know turn her upside down like this. She turned on her side and saw the piece of paper on the nightstand. Erin picked it up, looking at it. ‘ _Until we meet again, David. 555-9362_.’. Yeah, dinner might be a good idea.

***


End file.
